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Sandwich Monday: Everything In The Burger King’s Empire

Filed by KOSU News in Art & Life.
February 27, 2012

If you go to Burger King’s website, you’ll find they’ve failed to make downloadable onion rings, despite our many requests. You’ll also find an animation of a burger being made with pretty much everything on their menu and the phrase “Have It Your Way.” We wanted to see if they really meant it.

They did. It was $10.

Robert: The ingredients are beef patty, chicken patty, fish filet, onion rings, french fries, american cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, ketchup and an apple pie, on a sesame seed bun.

Peter: It’s like the Big Mac song, except really difficult to sing. Or eat, as it turns out.

Peter: It’s like an 18th century philosophy experiment gone horribly wrong … “if all the food of Burger King hath deliciousness, then should not all the foods eaten together be most delicious of all?”

Ian: The only thing I know about philosophy is I Kant eat any more of this.

Mike: This is the perfect sandwich to eat in honor of the NBA All-Star Game … a bunch of component parts that don’t play well together and cause stomach cramps.

Ian: No way is that Kobe beef though.

Robert: Can someone please help me reattach my jaws?

Robert: Scientists call the maximum amount of stuff you can pile up before it collapses “the angle of repose.” This sandwich is “the angle of nausea.”

Eva: If you’re flying and you don’t want to pay the fee for checked sandwiches, this is a great way to cram all your meats into one carry-on.

Ian: They really should have set the flame-broiler on “cremate.”

[The verdict: in the long history of Sandwich Monday, this is the worst thing we've ever had. Way worse than the sum of its parts. Avoid, avoid, avoid. If you must, it's best eaten "wine-tasting style."] [Copyright 2012 National Public Radio]

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