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Twenty Important Ways A Spy Kid Is Different From A Regular Kid

Filed by KOSU News in Art & Life.
August 16, 2011

As you may know, Spy Kids: All The Time In The World In 4D is coming out this Friday. As a public service, we wanted to present you with information that may help you discover whether your kid is a spy. It’s called civic responsibility, you guys.

1. Constantly says “Roger that” into small hole in back of Speak N Spell

2. First sentence: “The Eagle has landed.”

3. Throws tantrum in art class when box of 64 crayons does not include “invisible ink”

4. Asked how she managed to finish Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire under bedcovers, says, “Night-vision goggles. NO WAIT. I meant ‘a flashlight.’”

5. Letter to Santa is encrypted

6. Suggests saving fingerpaint projects on microfiche

7. Upon arriving at McDonalds, insists on sweeping Playland for bugs

8. Knows the Dewey Decimal System location of “History; CIA.”

9. When playing Operation, hides subdermal tracking implant in Cavity Sam

10. World Atlas has tiny flags pinned to various locations that read “NEUTRALIZED”

11. When playing with chemistry set, always runs out of plastic explosives first

12. At Halloween, rather than saying “Trick or treat!” grabs homeowners by shirt collars and yells, “WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?”

13. Receives digital watch at Christmas; when alarm goes off, throws it out window, yells “Take cover!”, dives under tree

14. Calls classmates “assets”

15. Requires parents to taste all food before eating

16. Refers to bedtime as “Operation Nighty-Night.”

17. At birthday parties, insists that all guests synchronize their watches

18. Does not trust dog, cat; calls hamsters “questionable”

19. Sleeps in black footie pajamas and knit hat

20. Jump-started school bus on field trip using Slinky, battery, and juice box [Copyright 2011 National Public Radio]

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