For Gay Catholics, D.C. Marriage Win Bittersweet

Filed by KOSU News in US News.
March 3, 2010

The District of Columbia began allowing gay men and lesbians to apply for marriage certificates Wednesday, which means that the nation’s capital joins five other states in allowing same-sex marriage. Before the doors to the marriage bureau even opened this morning, more than 100 couples were standing in line.

Outside the D.C. courthouse, it is a familiar scene. A handful of religious conservatives are damning the couples, singing “God won’t hear what you say when you pretend to pray.”

Mixed Blessing

Soon their protests are drowned out when the first batch of couples emerge from the D.C. courthouse, whooping and hugging and holding hands. They stand in front of microphones, euphoric that they can now, as one woman puts it, “marry the love of my life.”

But for Catholics like Phillip Dunham, there is some ambivalence.

“I didn’t go on Ash Wednesday for the first time in years,” he says. “I really felt like I didn’t belong anymore, and I couldn’t be part of a church that didn’t want me or anyone like me as part of it.”

Clutching the hand of Allen Pittinger, his partner for the past nine years, Dunham says he has long felt snubbed by the Catholic Church. But the final straw came when Catholic Charities in Washington, D.C., stopped handling adoptions so that it would not have to place children in the homes of gay couples. And as of March 2, it stopped providing spousal benefits for all employees, lest the organization give benefits to a gay spouse.

Pittinger and Dunham see these as cynical moves.

“Now, they don’t have to provide any type of benefits for anyone going forward,” Pittinger says.

Dunham adds, “And they can blame us. When I read that I thought, ‘Wow, it’s a great way to save on payroll costs. Blame the gay community, and come out smelling like a rose.’”

The Change In Policy

They say that the Catholic Church in other places, such as San Francisco, found a way to accommodate gay couples, and they believe that the church and its charitable arm simply didn’t want to.

Not so, says Susan Gibbs, a spokeswoman for the Archdiocese of Washington. Given the Catholic Church’s history of social justice and fighting for working class wages, this decision was wrenching for the church.

“This has been really hard for Catholic Charities and for the archdiocese, because we are so committed to working with the poor. It’s what we do,” Gibbs says.

Gibbs says the church had no choice. The D.C. government redefined marriage, and so Catholic Charities was forced to choose between keeping its contracts with the city and abandoning its belief about the holiness and purpose of marriage, in which a man and woman unite to have children.

“Really the priority was: How does Catholic Charities continue serving all the people it does now, while meeting the requirements, and staying true to who they are as a Catholic organization?” Gibbs says.

She says by removing spousal benefits and getting out of the adoption business, the organization could still serve the poor without abandoning its theology.

Some In The Fold Question The Policy

But Father Joseph Palacios, an openly gay priest affiliated with Georgetown University, says the new policies were “written by the lawyers.” He says while the policies may allow the Catholic Church to keep its contracts with D.C., the church will lose the faithful.

“The church will find itself in increasing isolation with its own Catholic community,” Palacios says.

Palacios sees this particularly among students, a trend that was captured by a recent poll of Catholics under 30 years old.

“The millennials who identify as Catholics are thinking of themselves as increasingly spiritual and less Roman Catholic,” he says, and thus less bound to the traditions and rules of the church.

This translates into fewer people in the pews, he says. And he says churches that accept same-sex unions are benefiting from the Catholic Church’s stand.

“You could find any Episcopal Church in any big city, and you’re going to find loads of former Catholics filling the ranks of the Episcopal Church,” Palacios says.

Of course, some conservative Episcopalians have flocked to the Catholic Church because of its harder line — suggesting that the battle over marriage and theology will be messy for some time. Copyright 2010 National Public Radio

One Response to “For Gay Catholics, D.C. Marriage Win Bittersweet”

  1. Kelly says:

    In our current culture we are taught to expect that if we disagree with things they ought to change "because, well, if I don't agree with it then it's obviously wrong.", and so people feel that the church is obligated to change based on what people expect.

    This however is not a logical course of action. What parent would be commended for changing the rules of their house simply because the children disagreed with it our thought it was unfair. The gay community tends to take to tone that their way is the right way, without question, and that any opposition is clearly wrong. Their evidence for their own correctness is the way they feel.

    To make an argument based on the foundation of emotions is a logical fallacy. The Catholic church however is not working from emotions.

    It should be noted that the Catholic church does not consider being gay, in and of itself, sinful. (Many protestants would make the leap from condemnation of sodomy to condemnation of homosexuality, but the precludes the possibility of someone being gay, but celibate.) Their position is that that marriage is between a man and a woman because God designed humans to work that way. A 'marriage' between two men or two women has no hope of procreation. Therefore same gender couple are not able to fulfill one of the main functions of marriage.

    The Catholic church has a long standard of holding to it's moral assertions. It has built it's 'house' on a firm foundation and will not be swayed or blown about in the winds of social change. This decision to not compromise for the sake of popularity has surely been a major reason it has been able to preserve itself and it's line of leadership from Peter to Benedict the 16th. No other part of Christianity can claim anything close.

    So, do please do not villainize the Catholic Church. They are acting out of good reason and with good intention. They know that what is right and what is wrong do not change and that only true things will persevere and have acted accordingly. If you must find fault, do so with their insufficient explanation or with your insufficient listening. Too many people form their opinion based on the emotions of the story or with inadequate information.

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